What if Series: Playing Tennis

I tried to play tennis. Went on a lesson and the first day was great. I didn't expect to meet people but I did so that was a nice bonus. I met someone who is very energetic, university in US and wanting that whole hustle/grind. And as much as I want to like it, I just felt a bit exhausted. It's not her fault at all though. I want to have her energy and enthusiasm actually. 

One thing I noticed was that I started stumbling when I had to start playing the game. It's like I didn't want to win. Or I didn't want to put that much effort to be competitive. And I wonder if this is what's holding me back. 

___

Tennis is one of those sports that I've always wanted to try and actually do. And I did for the most part. I signed up for a class. I was so close to finishing it, but spoiler alert, my foot got injured in one of the classes and I didn't make it to the last class. But it was 6 classes, I've attended 5 of them. I had a great time each time I was there.

I wasn't the best one. I would say I was actually the worst in class. But that was okay with me. More than okay. I felt happy just doing something different and learning while at it, without any pressure of me needing to be good at it. Actually, one thing I realize is that I was almost making myself worse when I play a match with people. Like, I don't want to win. It was the oddest experience. I don't really know why that's the case or when that happened. But the act of winning made me fear that I have to be great at it. And that if that's the case, what if I get worse at the middle. 

It's almost as if I was controlling the narrative of how I get better. Not that I was great to begin with. But it's more about the feeling of not wanting to be competitive. Overall, I enjoyed it. It gave me a sense of confidence, that if it weren't for my injury, I would have definitely finished it. 




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